Misadventures of the Monster Librarian

"But now in September the garden has cooled, and with it my possessiveness.  The sun warms my back instead of beating on my head ... The harvest has dwindled, and I have grown apart from the intense midsummer relationship that brought it on." -  Robert Finch  Stumbled upon this quote, and was struck dumb with a sadness I feel for the garden I once had. I love our cozy little condo--we spent so much time during our courtship there; it was a place of refuge when I was tired of library life in Ohio; it's our first home as a married couple. But, our condo has no space for a garden, and this makes me sad.  I think of the hours of time I spent on my knees planting, pulling weeds, picking produce. My garden was often one of the few spots were I went to feel alone in a community of 100 people; the place where I had the silence to day dream. I miss the day dreams dreamed there because the day dreams of 20-something me are so different than those of 30-something me. *sigh*...

No one at the Farm has had as much impact on my music-cation as TSO . He introduced me to all of the bands/artists listed below, and who knows who all else. Today as I am preparing to leave I am thinking back to my summer in grad school; TSO came for a visit that took us up for a long weekend around Traverse City, hiking Sleeping Bear Dunes, and all the way back to Detroit for a Ben Gibbard concert. How different our lives are 7.5 years later. Thanks TSO for all of these folks: The Postal Service Ben Gibbard Death Cab for Cutie She & Him Fleet Foxes Blitzen Trapper Dar Williams Gillian Welch Ingrid Michaelson Iron & Wine Madeline Peyroux Matt Nathanson Damien Rice MIKA Nickel Creek Regina Spektor Rufus Wainwright Sufjan Stevens

For a while B1 & B2 were living in the Buffalo area, which put them about 1/2 way between me and the Farm, and made for a couple visits and a memorable New Years Eve carpool to the Farm. On one visit B1 & B2 introduced me to Joe Purdy (some of his music was featured on Gray's Anatomy). Kinda forgot about him until just now, totally ordering some of his music when I get back to work!

I have never met someone who loved Bob Dylan as much as ValleyGirl. A year or two younger than me, I always thought of ValleyGirl as an old soul. When we met I hated Bob Dylan, hated hated hated, until one day something got into me and I liked him...a little bit, at least.  And while I will NEVER be in love with him the way she is, I will always have a soft spot for certain Dylan tracks, this one in particular. I can't help but picture ValleyGirl simultaneously strumming her guitar, playing harmonica, and singing "Oh Sister."  

Many are the gifts of Farmers. Wayne, the head of the Farm department, always mystified me with his ability to rattle off stanzas on command. Filthily clad in jeans and flannel, gnarled hands, smelling like cows and manure or haying season, Wayne would show up for breakfast--always late--and occasionally surprise everyone with a poem or two. I didn't even know Updike wrote poetry until Wayne shared this:  "Hoeing" I sometimes fear the younger generation will be deprived   of the pleasures of hoeing;   there is no knowing how many souls have been formed by this simple exercise. The dry earth like a great scab breaks, revealing   moist-dark loam--   the pea-root's home, a fertile wound perpetually healing. How neatly the green weeds go under!   The blade chops the earth new.   Ignorant the wise boy who has never rendered thus the world fecunder. --John Updike  

My Farm housemates and I read the entire Chronicles of Narnia aloud, something I'd never managed to read all the way through in my childhood, and I absolutely fell in love with the series, and particularly with Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  Writing about Eustace Scrub on New Years Day feels right, because if ever anyone needed a new beginning, it was Eustace Scrubb . This passage is about Eustace, who, through his greed, was turned into a dragon and was unable to return to his human form. “Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke – ‘You will have to let me undress you.’ I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it. “The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the p...

Amos, TSO, B1, and I all lived together in a big old Farmhouse for a while, and though we had our moments, I think we all loved it. When Amos left us for American University in D.C. I think we were all a little heartbroken; Amos made and mailed to us a soundtrack for our time as housemates, and 10 years later I still listen to that playlist. One of my favorite songs, and the one that always makes me think of driving home to the Farm is Aimee Mann & Michael Penn's take on The Beatles, "Two of Us." Enjoy! And Happy New Year! Hope you all are with the ones you love.

I was introduced to so much stuff when I lived at the Farm; this amazing 5 years of my life where pop culture fell away and I was stuffed with things I'd not yet really experienced: folk music, scores of poets off the beaten track, novels I'd never heard of. I'd like to pretend that I didn't fight it tooth and nail at first, but eventually, it started to stick... And now I miss those days of sitting around and reading poetry aloud, or listening to a song with a friend and really hearing it. So, in honor of my Farm-cation (Farm education) I will post things I met and fell in love with when I was living in New England, over this next week while I'm at the Farm. I head out for my 11 hour roadtrip tonight, so will begin today. Thank you, B1 for Sharon Olds: "I Go Back to May 1937" I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges, I see my father strolling out under the ochre sandstone arch, the    red tiles glinting like...

I've been so busy busy busy! Furniture finally delivered to the new house this weekend; new bed ordered--a queen! I've been sleeping in a twin for the last couple years since my apartment stairways were too small!--and Hemmy is adjusting well. Library's been busy too: Santa, Gingerbread houses, seasonal crafts, and Christmas storytimes galore! Job posted for a new Circ person. Ugh ugh ughing the interviews to come. Since I don't have much time to write today, thought I would copy and paste an old post from 2007: I never liked holidays growing up--there was always something--I will leave it at that. When I lived out East at the farm I stayed there for every single holiday for nearly three years, absorbing some of the farms traditions; and then continued to go back for some of the holidays even after moving back to Michigan [and now to Ohio]. To avoid being too much of a Grinch I will share 14 things to do to make Christmastime fun... 1. Make pinecone bird feed...

Being at the Farm always reminds me of the gifts of this place. Not just the healing that happens here, but also the amazing people who work here, or just pass through for a spell. I am always awed by the amazing women I've met and now call friends; women who've helped me be a better person, who've made me feel braver and bolder, who've encouraged me to challenge the stereotypes the world can still hold for us, women who serve as role models and sounding boards. There are many gifts in my life because I said yes to this place 11 years ago, but this weekend as we celebrate B1 and her changing life (as she and B2 prepare for their first child), I'm thinking much of the women here.  This  article is great and left me grinning.  "If you are a dreamer come in If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer If youre a pretender com sit by my fire For we have some flax golden tales to spin Come in!  Come in!" ...

I've been flying around like a busy bumble bee lately: Training a new staff person Getting tax forms ready and out (my office looks like an IRS truck exploded...ok, maybe not that bad) Preparing to weed Adult Fic/Non-Fic AGAIN Preparing to weed our Reference collections in Children's and Adult AGAIN Preparing to shift collections around to make more room for our teens--so hard with no space! Working on Summer Reading--Yep, I've had all of our entertainment booked since before Christmas, now booking some local speakers of interest. Summer Reading 2014 is going to be awesome The usual paperwork And in my free time I've been reading like a mad person--did I mention that I am a judge for the 2015-2016 Choose to Read Ohio? It's been great, but still have 7 books to get through by next week. YIKES! I feel like I haven't seen the sun the past two weekends, holed up in my apartment So, in lieu of going into detail about anything right now--maybe I can do th...

A couple months back my friend and former Farmer, Ian ,  mentioned that he'd be leaving his job in NY State and heading back home to Minnesota for the winter and might be able to stop by en route. So, I was pleased as punch to get a message that he'd be stopping by Monday night, and in true Farm fashion I offered to put him up in my house overnight. I love that we were all so close at the Farm, and that even though time passes, we can reconnect as if no time has passed at all! My Farm friends will all be like family to me; we saw each other through too much. In no time Ian was walking through the front door to Sticks Library, grinning as I frantically waved, smiling like an idiot--I'm not going anywhere for Christmas this year, deciding to do my own thing for the first time, and since I have no visitors coming this visit felt particularly special. We headed out for dinner, Ian humoring me as I bombarded him with 100 questions about the Farm, about his job in NY State, a...

Over 10 years ago when I was winding down in my Bachelor's program I decided that I was going to do what I couldn't do when I began college--I was going to move away from home. Like really move away; somewhere where I didn't know anybody and had no family nearby; begin a life that sounded more exciting than my own, but most importantly do Americorps work which would allow me to give back and help others. After talking to a friends brothers, who were then themselves immersed in Americorps work, I read and reread the Catholic Network of Volunteer Service 's RESPONSE book, writing down my top 15 choices, narrowing it down to 10, 5, and then 3. Fortunately my first choice of Nome, Alaska fell through at the last minute and I wound up in Monterey, Massachusetts, but more specifically working at Gould Farm . Reading their website will give you a great picture of the wonderful things this place does, and because I am due back in the kitchen soon--I'm part of a team prepa...

Since I am going to the ALA Chicago Conference next weekend, and will be putting in loads of extra hours, my LOVELY Board approved giving me time off this week. Can I just say, I LOVE my Board, and am so thankful for them! Decided to take my long weekend at the Farm; to see my beautiful Berkshires in summer; to get together with RugbyGirl and KellyBelly and Eliza--my girls who I miss so much; to come to say goodbye to a friend who's moving on; to take a break from the flat Midwest and see the lovely rolling hills of New England again. I left yesterday and stopped en route in Syracuse, NY, where I stayed with my friend Christy--it was a nice time catching up and enjoying a couple meals together. But I was glad to get on the road today, as I was impatient to get back to the Farm; to see the sun shining down upon my beloved Farm, as my last glance of it had been a bleak and snowy day--Christmas Day in fact . When I turned on the road leading to the Farm, I was awed by how beau...

A million years ago, in what now seems another life, I worked full-time at the Farm, but also worked part-time at a little, liberal arts school nearby called Simons Rock. Though I don't have many fond memories of my short time there--I worked a shift once a week that consisted of me working a full day at the Farm, taking an hour nap, wolfing down dinner, then working a 6p.m.-1a.m. shift--what was I thinking?!--I did have the pleasure of seeing poet Rita Dove's poetry reading there. Not just because I'm a librarian, but because this is the kid I was in some ways, my favorite poem that Dove read that night, which Dove said is her, "love poem to librarians." The poem has crept back to me and I am reading it again and smiling. "Maple Valley Branch Library, 1967" For a fifteen-year-old there was plenty to do: Browse the magazines, slip into the Adult Section to see what vast tristesse was born of rush-hour traffic, décolletés, and the plague of ...

Somehow it came to pass that this became my song when I worked in the Farm's Kitchen; one day in a fit of silliness, my old boss FlavaFlava replaced the word, "mama," with my name and forced everyone to sing along as LOUDLY as possible.  Just now while I was stepping out of the shower my song came on and I had to smile, remembering my time at the Farm, mornings in the Kitchen, a life that seems a million miles away, and all I've done for myself to get where I am today. Happy Friday ya'll. Hey Me, Hey Mama, Ray Lamontagne

A beautiful sky at the Farm Everyone has a napkin ring at the Farm for sit down dinners--I found mine! Where all good things go to die...or be recycled. View heading toward home! The tree outside Avalon where TSO , RugbyGirl , and I used to live!

B1 & B2's house and their kitty Mabel. BEST brunch ever: homemade mac n' cheese, asparagus and black forest ham frittata (made by me), veggie salad, homemade sesame bread (made by me) with soft Farm cheese, homemade blueberry muffins, grapes a BIG beef steer DiXit--I LOVE this game so much! Think Apples to Apples with pictures!

I was supposed to leave tomorrow for Massachusetts and the Farm, but winter storm Draco (Malfoy) is headed our way and so I am leaving early, taking to the open road. I pray that no matter how old, how crooked, how arthritic, I never forget or lose this love of the open road ; this dog-like desire to bounce on the seat, stare out the window, breathe in the changing smells--tongue lolling in excitement. I don't want to lose this desire to see towns, cities, lonely country unfolding in front of me; to go over the bumps of hundreds of railroad tracks and know the different journeys available in that too. I will keep this need to look for familiar signs and traces of roads I've traveled on, walked on, lived on. I will never lose the appreciation of what it means to add seconds, minutes, and hours--a math sum of home. I am so excited to get back to the Farm; to spend Christmas with my dear Farm friends; to again walk the familiar paths and roads, to see the animals and gardens. Ca...

Forever Young - Youth Group When I worked at the Farm I used my iPod every day at work; there was always music, always a soundtrack. I miss those early mornings opening the Kitchen, sometimes alone, sometimes with others; I miss the warmth of the oven, it's hum almost a part of the music from my iPod. As I sorted and packed this past weekend I had hours of uninterrupted music; time spent forming a new soundtrack. The song which has stuck with me into this, my second to last week, is this one. Enjoy! Also, welcome to new follower Deanna!