Misadventures of the Monster Librarian

Sometimes I get so foot-stompingly, hmpf'ing-ly angry when life doesn't go the way I planned it, and that's usually when I see the "life is beautiful," reminders like Sunday night's sunset. 

I miss the Farm: the smells of it; the way the mountains around look in every season; my secret places I could wander to; having cows, chickens, and pigs for neighbors; living and working with friends...too many things. But, I am trying to find beauty in this new, gritty city too. I love Lake Erie; love that some mornings I can hear Erie's gulls screaming on the wind; love those moments before I open my eyes, when I can almost imagine that I will again wake up in my tiny cabin in the woods. Lake Erie in December

I was daydreaming today, back to THIS day in May. I sat on a lichen covered rock watching as strong May winds whipped and bent the barley making it waves in a sea of browns and greens. It was gorgeous. This video definitely doesn't do it justice, but I am glad I made it anyway; captured was something...maybe nothing more than my poor quality camera's take on the clouds changing the shadows over the barley. Will write again soon. Real entries. Not just videos. Tomatoes are just controlling my life these days.

" The charming landscape which I saw this morning, was indubitably made up of some twenty or thirty farms.  Miller owns this field, Locke that, and manning the woodland beyond.  But none of them owns the landscape.  There is a property in the horizon that no man has but he whose eye can integrate all the parts, that is, the poet.  This is the best of these men's farms, yet to this their warranty-deeds give no title." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes, on a good night, before I go to sleep, between the reading or the interneting or the listening to music, I try and find time for gratitude. As a child I really, firmly believed that God wouldn't grant my wishes--as though God were a genie!--if I didn't also thank him/her for things too. While I don't really think of God that way anymore, I still like to do both things, not because I need to tip the scales in my favor, but rather because as an adult I realize what gifts this great world has to offer. In putting my needs out into the universe I also want to be mindful of paying attention to the little, minute wonderful things too; it is a way that I try and realign myself. I saw this quote on my friend Christy's FB page tonight and it struck me. Hope in the sharing others find something to ponder to! "Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than...

I went to such a great birthday party for Amos tonight. Fajitas and margaritas, bocce ball, ring toss, a bonfire, good conversation, sitting under a starry sky laughing. These times--precious hours with friends--have been some of the best moments of my twenties. In the midst of all the partying and fun I had to pause and snap a picture of the lovely mountain laurels growing around Snow Cottage, where B1 & B2 live. It seemed so appropriate after my last blog. As the dinner turned into dessert, a gorgeous cake made by Amos' hubby CJ, our original group grew in size as more Farmers trickled in. The lovely spring night sky grew darker and games ended, we crept closer to the fire and settled in as fireflies dotted the sky. Life is good.

When I went to milk the cows this afternoon there was nary a cow in sight. Leaving the dairy barn yard, I crossed the Farm's "main drag," intersecting streets to get into the pen which leads out to the fields near the beehives. This is the best time for milk--the cows out to pasture, eating lots of yummy grass and in turn, nourshing us. Great article about this here. Once inside the pen still no sight of the ladies. I called, "HEY BOSS!" cupping my hands to try and and boom my voice through the woods. I clapped. I whistled. Nothing. I walked deeper into the woods. Trudging out further away from the street I followed the fresh cow prints, evidence of the cows' daily path, and found myself slightly out of view of the road. I was for once looking out--the perspective then mine was that of the cows all summer. I saw cars passing by, though I wasn't quite as visible to them; felt the way that the trees running parallel with the road provide a wall; looked ...

Nassau is one of those off the hook experiences. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but what greeted us was a deluge of Bahamians who wanted our money; wanted us to go for a horse drawn carriage ride; a snorkeling excurion; a scooter ride around the island; wanted us to shop in their stores; eat at the restaurants; stop in for a beer. It was overwhelming. But, I can't blame them. Tourism is their #1 bread winner, so it only makes sense that they really fight for the tourists and really push their wares. S and I headed off the ship early in the morning to explore Nassau; spending our first hour wandering around, away from the pier, through the shopping district in search of postcards. Making our way back onto the ship to drop off our bags, we ran into TSO who agreed to come with us and go on a two and a half hour guided driving tour of the island and also Paradise Island, where the famously, fabulously expensive Atlantis hotel is located. Our driver didn’t really tell...

Half Moon Cay was gorgeous, but it also made me more than a little sad to hear that Carnival shares ownership of the island with another travel company. All 6 of us met up at 9:30am (different than the day before were we split up more), so we could all catch the boat over to the island together. Unlike our stop in Grand Turk, our ship couldn’t dock on Half Moon Cay, so we had to stay anchored out from the island and take boats (holding about 250 people) over to the island. Our time on the island today was what I had in mind for this vacation: we all went for a hike together, following the signs for a nature hike, then veering off into the woods, following whatever paths we crossed. A follow the leader sort of walk, which allowed us to see island birds and lots of lizards, the biggest one maybe a foot long. We found a beautiful, quieter spot a ways down the beach from the majority of the crowds and plopped down our stuff. We all stripped down to bathing suits and got int...

Today is the epitomy of spring. I walked a three mile loop around the Farm this morning; crossing off and onto our property; following paved roads onto dirt onto pavement again, off roads into the woods. It is perfect in its sunshiniest, blue sky glory. Today is a day for walks; wanderings through the Dumps' Swap Shop, in search of treasures; eating lunch outside with friends; reading books in the sun. There is little more to say except what Keats says best: "A thing of beauty is a joy for ever" A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass into nothingness; but still will keep A bower quiet for us, and a sleep Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing A flowery band to bind us to the earth, Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth Of noble natures, of the gloomy days, Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkened ways Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all, ...

A hope for myself this year is to get patient or better at just being; being in the moment; being able to know that I am HERE and not THERE; being able to be present in each moment of each day. I am always a work in progress. I was reading  Friend of the Farmer , where I found this quote, and just had to share it. I like it. I like it a lot. "Wendell Berry in Bringing It to the Table quotes Terry Cummins, the author of Feed My Sheep, on what its feels like to provide husbandry. 'The feeling inside sort of just happens, and you can’t say that this did it or that did it. It’s the many little things. It doesn’t seem that taking a sweat-soaked harness off tired, hot horses would be something that would make you notice. Opening a barn door for sheep standing in a cold rain, or throwing a few grains of corn to the chickens are small things, but these small things begin to add up in you, and you begin to understand that you’re important. You may not be real important like the...

"America's Got Talent," has nothing on our Farm. People here are so amazingly gifted in so many ways, but I think I become immune to that until I sit down and watch an Open Mic Night like tonights. It was amazing and great and fun and funny and...satisfying. Sometimes, once I am home at the end of the day, it is so hard for me to want to go back into the community for all-Farm events, but I am so glad that I did tonight! Everything about the night was right. The Open Mic Night took place in the old living room. Twenty or thirty some people crammed in, grabbing empty chairs or floor space, and a makeshift stage was set up in front of the fireplace. The charm of events like these is buried in everything, even the simplest things like how we all cram in together, all of us Farmers: friends, coworkers, staff and guests snuggled in together, sitting elbow to elbow. Just being. I sometimes stop and look around and really appreciate how we are like a big family (the true gift an...

People always ask how much food/what kind of food we make, so here are the Farm's Thanksgiving stats: 12 turkeys, which equaled roughly 108 pounds of meat 176 dinner rolls (made by our baking/pastry program) 50 lbs mashed potatoes 40 lbs Farm Brussels sprouts 40 lbs Farm squash (butternut) 224 cups (I estimate this wound up being about 40/50 lbs) of stuffing **this is what I made for the meal** 2 gravies: 1 turkey, one vegetarian (mushroom) 12+ lbs of white bean stew Quinoa with walnuts and raisins Cranberry sauce 6 + lbs of Farm applesauce Gallons and gallons of Farm apple cider Water, coffee and tea 40 pies/tarts: 9 Blueberry Pies, 9 Pumpkin Pies, 9 Chocolate Pies, 9 Lemon Curd Tarts and 4 Cranberry Tarts (made by our baking/pastry program) About 2 dozen pairs of hands went into making the meal; 6 people carved turkeys Thanksgiving morning; 134 people enjoyed the Thanksgiving meal. It was a busy day which began at 6:30 for me, opening the Kitchen, and which di...

I am a big fan of rain. I have a memory of myself at age five, gearing up in my rain boots and rain coat, hanging an umbrella over my arm, making my way into our city yard—we were living in the Kensington district of Detroit then—all stipulations my mother put on me before going out into the rain shower. I can still remember the satisfaction that came from jumping into puddles; a sensory moment as crisp as biting into a fall apple or a luscious summer watermelon—it’s juices running in rivulets down chins and necks, declaring stickiness king. I still feel that same way about puddles. And I am not ashamed to say that I still enjoy playing in mud, though these days that declaration is made respectable when one considers that most of this “play” takes place in our garden. Yesterday and today have been a dance for the senses, tactile exercises in weed pulling in soft, muddish soil; finger filching of blueberries between summer showers. Last night I spent two hours pulling weeds. Weed pullin...

I love house-sitting at the Farm. House-sitting at the Farm provides such an opportunity to really enjoy the variety of houses we have here. In the past couple of months I have stayed at Mummy Dearest and Hubby's house; B1 & B2's small, old-school cabin in the woods; and now, here I find myself sitting in one of the newest editions to the farm, N&M's adorable cabin in the woods. N&M and their adorable girls M&S are in Ithaca for the weekend visiting N's family, so I find myself here, shrouded in the silence that trees and tall grasses on three sides of a house provide. I promised to keep the pets company: Cooper (a chocolate lab), Beeker and Chester (cats), but I feel as though they are keeping me company this weekend. The weather has been wonderful so far, providing me with a full array of Mother Nature through the windows of this tidy little cabin. Last night it rained hard and I found myself coming "home" to a fog swept forest (even...

Saturday was one of those busy yet lovely days. We woke up early and the day didn’t end until late. We headed over to B2’s parents’ house and joined in with CJ, preparing the food for dinner, doing as much as we could before the wedding. And then in what seemed like 5 minutes we were all bustling around the house; getting ironed, dressed, tidied up, make-up’d. And then the motley crew that we had been was transformed into a group of handsomely made-up adults. There was something pleasant about being snuggly tucked away in a lovely house in Pennsylvania, preparing for such a joyous occasion; sitting on the toilet while Amos did my hair, the men ironed shirts, and B2’s mom quickly washing her hair. And then, in what seemed like ten minutes later, we were gathered outside the Hall of Philosophy, where B1 & B2 were to be married. B1’s Dad and brother Jesse were setting up, as they were to be providing the music for the ceremony. The rest of us were talking in small groups, excitedly ...