many always

Wound up going to Michigan this weekend for the funeral of my friends' father; one of those necessary events in life which always leaves me wondering about the trajectory of my own life; I sat and marveled at how quickly life goes as I looked over at my best friend L's girls A (7yrs) and L (9.5yrs), sitting next to me. I thought of myself in my friends' shoes, sitting consumed by grief, trying to figure out how life could continue without my Dad...that was nearly 5 years ago...

I also spent time with Mom (who's in MI for a month of visiting), friends College Kim & Jesse and their new baby Liam and best friend L and her brood; saw some extended family. Yet in all of this being with others I could do little more than think ahead to June. June will bring best friend Kim & Joe's wedding reception and time with a friend who's coming up from Chicago, my long awaited vacation to the Farm. It will be over 6 months since I left the Farm and moved to Ohio before I get back and that amazes me, both that I've been away so long and that I've managed to survive here for 6 months!

Oh, how I can't wait to see my beloved Farm and all my friends there. I imagine I will be like a dog with my head hanging out the car window, sucking down the familiar smells of home, barely able for the car to stop before I dive out and begin caressing things: hands feeling for the path-overhanging apple tree branches; rubbing the calves wet noses; reaching out to touch leaves, flowers, trees. I will hug my friends until they beg for mercy. I will wander my old stomping grounds as if no time has passed; meander through now-spring-greened woods; walk barefoot through garden plots. I CAN'T WAIT! So, excuse me if my posts are scattered and dreamy these next few weeks...I've got New England and Farm life on the brain...*sigh*...vacation.
"The Promise"

Stay, I said
to the cut flowers.
They bowed
their heads lower.

Stay, I said to the spider,
who fled.
Stay, leaf.
It reddened,
embarrassed for me and itself.
Stay, I said to my body.
It sat as a dog does,
obedient for a moment,
soon starting to tremble.

Stay, to the earth
of riverine valley meadows,
of fossiled escarpments,
of limestone and sandstone.
It looked back
with a changing expression, in silence.

Stay, I said to my loves.
Each answered,
--Jane Hirshfield

And before I get too swoony and forget, wanted to welcome my newest 3 followers: Amanda Tan, Ellis Nelson, and the other person who joined lately and who isn't at the top of my queue--sorry, if it's you leave me a comment and I will appreciate you too!


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