stuck in the waiting place

Another new year and I have nothing but good feelings for it. Things can only look up after last year. And the year ends in an even number so that's a good thing.

I feel I have been a thousand miles away from my online community lately.

The visit to the farm was good, though I confess I was a little internally restless, which paired with the flu bug I caught while I was there, made for an odd visit. Visiting with friends was good and balm to my soul. New Year's Eve B1, B2, and I made it safely to the farm around 7pm due to an earlier start from Buffalo than expected, good traffic, and great weather. The three of us, Amos & CJ, Mummy Dearest & Hubby, and Nevada celebrated a--for the most part--quiet New Year's Eve exchanging Christmas presents, munching on Mummy's hilarious hors d'Ĺ“uvres (some variation of these), drinking (Amos brought back some sneaky liquer from Bolivia and I brought Michigan beers for the boys' Christmas presents, which consequently were shared with all) and talking. It was a good time. The rest of my visit at the farm we took turns being sick, and thus "laid low."

Since I have returned I have been looking for crappy part-time work to pair with my other part-time job to pay the bills until a library job opens up. I am so tired of sending resumes and scouring the listservs for jobs that I can apply to--and if one more person tells me to enjoy this time of "not knowing where I may wind up," I will throttle them, or to quote a younger me, "rip my eyeballs out and throw them at the wall," (Chris, that was for you). The thing that sucks about trying to get crappy part-time work means I am filling out more job applications--AGH!--and no one wants to hire me as I am over-educated for anything except library work and who wants to hire someone that they think--and rightly so--will not be with them long...sigh...maybe I will just start lying on these applications and make myself look uneducated and undesirable...then the corner groccery store might hire me.

I am looking at a new year with the possibilities:
a new job--ney, a new career!
possibly moving again which means new digs

And in the midst of this I am trying to quit smoking--what a really good idea that was. Like one of my good friends said last week as we enjoyed a cigarette, "I wish smoking didn't have all the bad health side effects and I would smoke all the time." Me too.

I keep likening my situation of feeling stuck to Dr. Seus' Oh the Places You'll Go when I talk about my frustrations.

"And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose?
How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right
...or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confusedthat you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place..."

That Seus was a genius.

So as a means to inspire or uplift myself I went in search of a favorite poem by my favorite poet, Billy Collins. I give you Nostalgia .

I also found this fun quote, by a famous librarian:
"At twenty years of age the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgment."
~Ben Franklin.

Maybe I should just be content today to be reigned by will, not far away from the days of wit.

Comments

Kerry said…
I like the idea that you're not quitting smoking forever--you're just taking a break until you're 65 and can take it up then.

I'm in a similar situation--damn it Phoenix library jobs, call me back! Hire me! I rock in ways you can't even imagine based on my resume, and my resume says I rock!
JennPav said…
Good luck with the job getting and the career getting. Its never easy. And I had to lie on apps to get people to call me. I just conveniently left off the college part. Maybe even mispell some words. Job is a good one. ME NEED JOBE.

If you find you're having trouble with the quitting of the smoking let me know. My mom-- a die hard smoker for thirty some odd years just quit using this new drug on the market. You only have to take it for a few weeks and she has completely quit. She said it was pretty painless. This is HUGE from my mom. I just don't remember the name...
Kt said…
I'm trying to guess at the hors d'oeuvres, and knowing you and MummyDearest, I'm thinking dirty thoughts. Am I wrong?

I've decided that jobs are a perilous disease which should be avoided at all costs. Perhaps you will join me in my crusade to make the rest of the world stop working too, so we don't look so bad. Applications and cover letters suuuuuuck.....!

Man, I am so going to go out and buy a copy of "Oh the Places You'll Go," right now. That is definitely my life. Thanks for the timely quotation.
Kerry, I KNOW RIGHT! Argh--good people like us need good jobs damnit!

Jenny, WOOT WOOT! Tell your Mom congrats...I am not a die hard smoker, just an occassional one but these last few days when I am stressed it takes everything in me to not run and get a pack.

Kt, I am game to quit forever!
And yes, some filthy Topside-worthy jokes were made...but Mummy and I also "planted" some of the leftovers to see if they would "grow." CJ was not pleased as we left them in his house...ha ha ha.
SWP said…
That's such a good poem.

Thanks for the pickmeup.
tizzy said…
Perhaps a little untimely, but good for you on the smoking front! and thank you for sharing the Seusism... Where it applies to your job search, I find it aptly applies to my life in quite a different realm and thank you for putting it there. Very jealous of your farm visit. Why again haven't we all created a farm like the one in the Berkshires? Heck, it could be a Co-Op. I'll see if I can talk Joelee into supporting a Farm of the West or Mid-West for all us die hard GFers.... You can run the library!

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