"How are things?"

My friend asked how things were going today. This was my response.

“I have to do some reading for my Thursday night class, and start working on coming up with a topic for my research paper which is due in December. I have to post 3 short essays, finish a book and make the index card record for that book, and then post some essays for the rest of my group to read by this weekend. Then, for my other class I have to pick out a few books to share with my class for next week, and also write a brief paper for Monday.

I am so busy this week, with the concert (going to see Stevie Wonder tomorrow at Meadowbrook), and working nights, and the library being busy and working both Saturday and Sunday this coming weekend, and the OU girls night planned for Saturday. I am going to freak out soon...I feel sometimes like I can't breathe right...I can only guess that this is what panic attacks must feel like. I have never been one to have them, but I am getting freaked out since there is so much work this semester and it is my last, so I have graduation paperwork, and gowns to order and holy shit...what am I going to do for a job in December?

And it all feels so BIG right now. I think tonight I am going to have a couple drinks, take a hot bath, and chill the fuck out. I have tomorrow and Thursday off by some miracle! Thanks be to Jesus! So, I can figure things out then and do a lot of work. Until then, ‘I'm freaking out,’ just a little."

This is only how I was feeling earlier. That wasn't taking into account that: three times served in three months is a charm, and I am in-fact serving jury duty in October; I got a flat tire over the weekend; my fish is mad at me; my dog humped my sleeping bag that was clean and ready for my camping trip; I almost hit a homeless man who walked in front of my car while I was turning (missed him by maybe 6 inches); I was late by almost 10 minutes to work tonight at the library because nearly 40 mins. later I found a parking spot; and the fact that today is the day that I work a 12 hour day.

I am drowning in self pity. Please, please, excuse the Debbie Downer-ness of this post.

Think happy thoughts for me...as I try not to crawl under my desk and cry.

Comments

the.effing.librarian said…
sorry about the bad day. if it's any consolation, I got my MLS when I was older than you are now. I began in January and graduated in December. sometimes I slept on some furniture cubes in the school lobby waiting for my next class. when I started in January, my cataloging professor told me she thought I wouldn't make it, that I would drop out before the end of the month. but I finished. it kicked my ass. but if I can do it, you can. and I was still able to get in the occasional concert (I got to see Dinosaur, Jr. and Freedy Johnston for free with my student ID -I like both a lot). good luck. things get better.
September 11, 2007 at 8:14 PM
TSOldtimer said…
Jeezy Creezy, that's rough. You'll make it, though. I know you will; you're good at that kind of thing. But just remember: if you put your face on the grill, they'll let you go home early.
September 11, 2007 at 9:27 PM
Anonymous said…
Keep your chin up. Life has always had twists and turns, but as I recall through the years you have always landed with your feet on the ground!!!

You will again..I have a lot of confidence in you, but Aunts usually do. God Bless You,
Aunt Kathy
September 11, 2007 at 9:49 PM
Monster Librarian said…
Effing,

Thanks for the words...I too have slept all over the place as I rush through this degree and have probably achieved some status of looking like I am homeless.

TSO,

Thanks! As always, you made me laugh, using my own words against me no less! Seriously, "Who do I have to sleep with to get kicked out of this program!?" :)

Aunt Kathy,
Sorry for the colorful language in this blog. Thanks for the encouragement and never giving up in believing that I will eventaully become a librarian, and then write the next great American novel...remember what I promised...if I do it, you get one of the first copies. :)
We need to get together at Buddy's Pizza soon for dinner. :)
September 12, 2007 at 1:01 PM
Anonymous said…
and...I designed a tee-shirt for you (no, you don't need to buy it-- you can just look at it)...you should be able to spot it quickly. (effing)
September 12, 2007 at 7:20 PM
Mummy Dearest said…
Monster,

I hope your week is improving. I emailed ya, so check that bitty out. And remember: you might lose your mind this semester, but don't worry. You'll find it again. School is crazy, but SO worth the work! We're rooting for ya.
September 13, 2007 at 10:17 AM
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