"How are things?"
“I have to do some reading for my Thursday night class, and start working on coming up with a topic for my research paper which is due in December. I have to post 3 short essays, finish a book and make the index card record for that book, and then post some essays for the rest of my group to read by this weekend. Then, for my other class I have to pick out a few books to share with my class for next week, and also write a brief paper for Monday.
I am so busy this week, with the concert (going to see Stevie Wonder tomorrow at Meadowbrook), and working nights, and the library being busy and working both Saturday and Sunday this coming weekend, and the OU girls night planned for Saturday. I am going to freak out soon...I feel sometimes like I can't breathe right...I can only guess that this is what panic attacks must feel like. I have never been one to have them, but I am getting freaked out since there is so much work this semester and it is my last, so I have graduation paperwork, and gowns to order and holy shit...what am I going to do for a job in December?
And it all feels so BIG right now. I think tonight I am going to have a couple drinks, take a hot bath, and chill the fuck out. I have tomorrow and Thursday off by some miracle! Thanks be to Jesus! So, I can figure things out then and do a lot of work. Until then, ‘I'm freaking out,’ just a little."
This is only how I was feeling earlier. That wasn't taking into account that: three times served in three months is a charm, and I am in-fact serving jury duty in October; I got a flat tire over the weekend; my fish is mad at me; my dog humped my sleeping bag that was clean and ready for my camping trip; I almost hit a homeless man who walked in front of my car while I was turning (missed him by maybe 6 inches); I was late by almost 10 minutes to work tonight at the library because nearly 40 mins. later I found a parking spot; and the fact that today is the day that I work a 12 hour day.
I am drowning in self pity. Please, please, excuse the Debbie Downer-ness of this post.
Think happy thoughts for me...as I try not to crawl under my desk and cry.