good, wholesome fun

So much to write about, but it is too damn hot, so until I cool off--at least enough to be able to sit here for longer than five minutes--I will repost this old post of mine, which I stumbled upon this morning. It makes me laugh. I hope it makes others laugh too.

9 Ways to Cheer yourself up:

1. Attack a co-workers car with "
Potted Meat," and popcorn (spelling their name with potted meat on windows is very important to self enjoyment). If you don't know what Potted Meat is, go to a gas station with a questionable reputation and you should be able to find it. THe best description I can ulger: spam meets a blender and cat fish

2. Go into shopping stores and use the electronic cart usually saved for the elderly or overweight...find an older person and race them...odds are you will win.

3. While in the
groccery store sing or hum (if you are shy about singing) as loudly as you can, the theme song to the A Team, (if you do not know if, it is also the background music in Napolean Dynamite when Napolean and Pedro are hanging up "Vote for Pedro" signs) and make sure to make phone calls to your friends, referring to them as B.A. Barrackus, and asking them if they still "pity the fool..." Extra points if you dress in Army fatiques.

4. Call people and ask them if "Consuela is there," keep calling the same number, then after calling about 6 times, call back and say, "This is Consuela are there any messages?"

5. Borrow a friends Harry Potter halloween costume, go into the mall...try and open doors by pointing your wand and shouting, "Alohamora!" (That is wizard speak for "open"). While I have not tried this at the mall, it made for an interesting Halloween party trick.

6. Rent a cow costume (complete with udders), and rollerblade through a busy
area...you will make people happy...how often do people in the city get to see cows...and cows that can skate! Good Lord!

7. Pull up next to someone that is blaring their bass-o-rific, speaker shaking gangsta rap at a red light, and blare your music louder...but make sure it is something like The Bangles or Gordon Lightfoot...something really hard core like that.

8. Dress like an celebrity that you may...or may not...look like and pretend to be them for a day. See if people believe you. Or wear a long wig and walk around singing "I got you Babe," all day. People might think you are Cher.

9. Draw a goatee on your face with Crayola washable markers, put on an eye patch and go to the beach...wander around, going up to occasional people laying out, ask them if they have seen your
ship...using a picture of a real ship cut out of a magazine gives you more credibility. Also, ask if they have seen your friend, "The Captain," show them a picture of Captain Morgan.

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