Fantasies of the bored librarian

Today was one of those slightly rainy days, though by the time I got off the expressway it had stopped raining. My friend who grew up in Virginia used to say of days like these that it was "spitting" outside. I never really liked the idea of that expression, as though Cherabim and Seraphim, bored with their idle days spent on playing harps and singing in the Almighty's choir decided to see who could spit the farthest.

Well, anyway, it is cloudy and in the fifties and perfectly perfect outside and I am indoors working the early morning shift, with my Reference partner in crime due in in a little over an hour. It is a quiet enough day here. I have responded to 5 reference questions in the last 45 minutes, 4 of those coming from the same man. High maintenance. It is in these quiet times that my mind wanders and I fall into fantasizing about some tall gorgeous man striding through the doors, over to the desk, and saying to me in his sexiest voice, "hi, you don't know me, but I have no library books overdue, I never dog-ear the pages in books, and I know how to navigate databases like no other. My name is Biff...What are you doing for the rest of my life?"

No, this is not my real fantasy, but I sometimes wonder if one day it may be. What if I turn into that Marian the Librarian type: the glasses dangling around my neck on a tacky Walmart worthy chain-ready to be put on and peered over, a permanent bun pulled back so tightly that the veins on the side of my head buldge with the slightest noise above a whisper, a curiously strange presence and awkward laugh. Oh, my God, am I doomed to walk the planet, like the Hulk, alone and an outcast...wait a minute, off on a tangent. But this takes me to my question: why are the majority of librarians so weird? And I can say that because I am going to be one, and I am speaking from experience-both from knowing some of the other students in the program and the librarians that I work with. We are an odd lot. Why is that? Do people who are socially inept, but who love books get sucked into this world of knowledge because they think they can hole themselves up somewhere dark and never have to deal with others? Who knows, who knows? Just some Sunday afternoon thoughts. (That guy with the four questions in an hour, just asked #5...ahh, yes)


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