alternative Secret Santa gifts

Secret Santa began yesterday at the Farm; names were drawn from a hat and we marched forth into the cold afternoon and possibly all pondered those ponderous pre-Christmas (Hannukah/Kwanza) thoughts about what to get our Secret Santees. We were instructed to try to not spend over $5 over the course of the week, which isn't too hard, but how to be clever and original? In years past I have given my Santee: poetry, candy, cookies and even a snowman, but what am I to do this year? Brainstorming, I have come up with a few ideas:
  • A "snake-coiled" brownie in a cellophane "holiday" baggy, with a note that says, "Santa's reindeer left this for you." Make sure the brownie has corn pressed into it...everyone knows reindeer LOVE corn.
  • A stripper who pops out of a lifesized fruit cake, sings Christmas carols and has a mischieviously placed candy cane. WINK!
  • Someone dressed like a snowman who will pose on the persons' front lawn. When your Santee comes home and thinks, "oh, my Secret Santa must have made this snowman for me," the snowman will then tackle the person, facewash them and scream "Merry Christmas," before running off.
  • A vintage leg lamp...hmm...this might cost more than $5.
  • Smutty romance novels. I always see tons of these at the Dollar Tree in town. Nothing says the holidays like a bare chested man posing like Conan the Barbarian.
  • These.
Now my only question is which one do I do for tomorrow?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"howl the eternal yes"

Image
Just read a CNN article this morning about the Aurora Borealis making an appearance. It reminded me of Northern Exposure and Chris the DJ. So, thought I would share a quote as I reminisce about the Aurora Borealis, a.k.a. The Northern Lights, which I saw my first year at the Farm in Massachusetts, which I actually saw on my 23rd birthday!--the best birthday present I ever got!! "There's a dark side to each and every human soul. We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us. Thing is, this ain't no either-or proposition. We're talking about dialectics, the good and the bad merging into us. You can run but you can't hide. My experience? Face the darkness. Stare it down. Own it. As brother Nietzsche said, being human is a complicated gig. So give that ol' dark night of the soul a hug. Howl the eternal yes!" ~ Chris, Northern Exposure, "Aurora Borealis (A Fairy Tale for Grown-Ups).” It feel...
Read more

sample retirement acceptance letter

Image
The hardest part of being the Director in a small library is that we don't have an HR person, so on top of everything else we do we also get to do the paperwork for the new hires, and retires. Thank God for the internet or these processes would take a lot longer!  One of my board members pointed out that though I'd been informed of staff retirements, I had to officially accept them with a letter...I am finding that a paper trail is an important thing. So, I found a short and simple letter on one university's HR website (sorry forgot which!?) and honed it to work for us. Attached is my sample of a retirement letter.  Is anyone else out there going through this process too?
Read more

eggnog with lighter fluid and other cherished Christmas memories

Image
I started digging to find my favorite Christmas-esque scenes/lines from movies and I was pleased with what I found. In spirit of my 14's lists, here goes: 1. Charles De Mar: "Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid." ~ Better Off Dead I also love the present opening scene on Christmas day, where his mother is dressed like a reindeer, his father gets an ardvark jacket and the kids get freezer dinners. Pan out to the neighbors Christmas when the French foreign exchange student gets a framed picture of Ricky. I LOVE THIS MOVIE! 2. When Zuzu says to George Bailey, "Look, daddy! Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an Angel gets his wings." George quietly agrees, "Attaboy, Clarence," as "Auld Lang Syne" rings out. That scene makes me cry everytime. (I also love that if George had never been around, Mary became a spinster librarian--see pic) ~ It's a W...
Read more