Misadventures of the Monster Librarian

Searching for that just-perfect Christmas picture on my last blog , I came across some other really fun vintage ads. I offer them now: Wow. Words can't even express... Is this a maternity dress or is it just baggy and ugly? And why is she standing like someone slammed her leg in the closet door? Coca Cola: satisfying all those whorey urges. For the family who wants to outdo the funeral home in town, the new Chrysler Hearse. Why do her paddles look so sneakily like car ice scrappers? The fat girl in me just burst into tears...while simultaenously wondering where I can get those charming clothes for my next Chubbies convention. Schlitz beer...it makes you ALMOST forget about how small your TV really is.

Secret Santa began yesterday at the Farm; names were drawn from a hat and we marched forth into the cold afternoon and possibly all pondered those ponderous pre-Christmas (Hannukah/Kwanza) thoughts about what to get our Secret Santees. We were instructed to try to not spend over $5 over the course of the week, which isn't too hard, but how to be clever and original? In years past I have given my Santee: poetry, candy, cookies and even a snowman, but what am I to do this year? Brainstorming, I have come up with a few ideas: A "snake-coiled" brownie in a cellophane "holiday" baggy, with a note that says, "Santa's reindeer left this for you." Make sure the brownie has corn pressed into it...everyone knows reindeer LOVE corn. A stripper who pops out of a lifesized fruit cake, sings Christmas carols and has a mischieviously placed candy cane. WINK! Someone dressed like a snowman who will pose on the persons' front lawn. When your Santee comes ...