Misadventures of the Monster Librarian

We have a firm fines policy that no one in a family may check anything out if even one member of the family has fines in excess of $10--it sounds strict, but we find that we only have problems with families that wind up being the ones who run up multiple cards, so it works. Today we got one of those really special patron phone calls that had us all cracking up. It went something like this: Patron: "I know that I have fines on my card, but my daughter keeps begging me to go to the library and check out some books for her to read." *After checking the patrons card, her sons card, and the daughters card it was discovered that the mother and sons fines totaled over $300, while the daughters fine were only just over $10. After being informed of this, the patron asks, Patron: "So, can I just pay off my daughter's fines so she can use her card." *The staff again reiterated our policy about family fines, etc. Patron: "Well, every time I came to the librar...

In this economy it is amazing that I not only have a GREAT job working at the Farm, but I also have a part-time job in a library, so I get to have my cake and eat it too. But, after nearly a year in BiggerCity Library I am feeling disinterested and craving library work like I did back in Michigan: I wasn't just a librarian, I was a children's librarian;  I planned activities that both the kids and I enjoyed; the Reference work was even more enjoyable because we weren't constantly having to deal with rude patrons and drunk homeless persons (I am not being nostalgic here, I really didn't deal with anything worse than someone occasionally looking at porn at my old library--and that was GREAT!); the library was a little smaller and more like a family; the city had a good school system and that small town feel. Maybe I am just too tired for it today. I didn't get enough sleep last night and I have been working my normal hours at the Farm and a ton of hours here to hel...

Real things that I heard/happened in the library this week: " Jesus loved to read," A Mom to her child in the Children's Department. Hmm...which Gospel was that mentioned in... The Book of Dewey Decimalicus...? We have a box out for patrons to throw their "gently used" books, DVD's, etc. in. In turn we sell these items at our tri-annual Friends Used Book Sales and the money comes back to the library, etc. Someone donated a book about health. Nice...Then the Circulation staff noticed that major portions of the book were highlighted... especially the parts of the book concerning bowel problems, with notes-to-self added with comments that should stay "notes-to-self." "Madame Librarian," a retired librarian-turned-senile-patron came through the library. I learned that she likes to take children's books and re-label them. While reading Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs tonight to my bedtime story group, one of the little boys whispered t...