just like my car

Little Miss Sunshine (2006) - Movie Trailer

last hurrahs

The road trip to Ohio was full of problems, but as the cliche expression goes, "it's not the end destination, it's the journey." But, I should probably back up and talk about some of the events of the week leading up to my departure. I spent my last week covering some kitchen shifts, packing and repacking and repacking, shipping boxes of my stuff, boxing things up which B1 & B2 will bring as far as Buffalo in December, just doing last minute things. I had asked M &N if they would mind if I invited a few people over for drinks one night (a last hurrah) on Tuesday--unbeknownst to me M & N had invited over the entire staff for dessert and drinks--SNEAKY!

Anyway, that night I stopped by M & N's to grab something before dashing over to B1 & B2's; in my haste I left my car running in Neutral (it's a manual) on what I thought was a flat piece of road...apparently the road had just enough of a slope and my car had hundreds of pounds of my possessions in it to give it the umph it needed to roll down the hill alongside the road, take out 2 sections of fencing in M & N's yard, and get itself jammed onto a fence post (which fortunately kept it from rolling down another hill into the woods).

In those horrible, sickening-feeling'ed moments spent waiting for Jay and W the Farmer to come and help pull me out, and again as I sat in my car praying and gunning it when I was told to, I felt a gratitude for community, and a reminder of what makes the Farm so special. A reminder of the closeness I will miss, the willingness of friends and neighbors to help one another. I had an hour and a half to think about that as the trucks attempts at pulling me out turned into my old Saturn being pulled out by one of the Farm tractors.

Let's just say by the time we all got into the party we all needed a drink. A big one.

Thanksgiving, the biggest meal the Farm does all year, the meal which we plan for and prep for for days in advance came off without a hitch. Slightly smaller than last year's celebration--145 people vs. last year's 176--this year felt more intimate and special and the food was amazing! Plates were piled high; mine included turkey and gravy, mashed potatoes, Farm Brussels sprouts, Farm butternut squash roasted and pureed into submission, Farm kale salad, stuffing (I made stuffing for 160 people this year, just to be safe), among many other things. The Farm's bakery program had made delicious pies and tarts: pumpkin, apple, chocolate--my God, so good. No one went away hungry.

And so it was with a still full belly and love for my fellow farmers that found me saying goodbye to the Farm and my Farm "family" Friday morning. I stayed just long enough for breakfast and to get many hugs and some tearful goodbyes; to stop by M &N's to say goodbye to M and the kiddos; to stop for one last cup of coffee from the Farm's restaurant; and just like that my life at the Farm was over. And like many journeys--I headed out, with only some vague sense of what lie in store.

Jay had looked at my car for me before I headed out and assured me that as long as I took it easy my broken back spring would manage the trip ok. And it did. It wasn't the spring that gave me the problems along the way, it was my starter dying on me when I was just about half way to OhCity, just outside of Rochester, NY. AAA tried jumping my car, but since the starter was dead (my ex-mechanic bro confirmed this over a panicked phone call from me), and really dead, that was a no go. So, the AAA tow truck driver offered a solution--"Pop start" the car. Pop starting, as I learned that day, means pushing a manual car to get it rolling with the clutch in 2nd gear, once it gets going you take your foot off the clutch and hit the gas and the car starts! And it works. And doing it made me think of Little Miss Sunshine.

Everything was going fine. When I stopped to go to the bathroom I left the car running with the doors locked. It wasn't until a tollbooth worker made me slam on my brakes that my foot slid off the clutch and my car stalled again. Another hour later a second AAA tow truck driver helped me pop start my car again, but since we were in a flat parking lot at the toll booths in Buffalo, NY, the truck driver pulled my car up a 45 degree incline on the bed of his truck and had me hold my brakes, unhooked me and away I rolled backwards, pop starting the car again, this time in Reverse instead of 2nd gear.

No more stops. And I FINALLY made it to OhCity, OH, 11 hours later (instead of the 7.5 the trip should have been). But the moral of the story is that I made it safely.

much to say

but Uncle Walt will have to suffice until I have more time:

Listen! I will be honest with you,

I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes,

These are the days that must happen to you:

You shall not heap up what is call’d riches,

You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve,

You but arrive at the city to which you were destin’d, you hardly settle yourself to satisfaction before you are call’d by an irresistible call to depart,

You shall be treated to the ironical smiles and mockings of those who remain behind you,

What beckonings of love you receive you shall only answer with passionate kisses of parting,

You shall not allow the hold of those who spread their reach’d hands toward you.

 -- Stanza 11, "Song of the open road," Walt Whitman

It’s fastened down; something you can count on

for moving day. Maybe it's because Sandburg's also from the Midwest, or maybe it's just because he promised me that everything is going to be come out alright...either way, I am moving on and this felt apropos:

"Caboose Thoughts"

It's going to come out all right—do you know?
The sun, the birds, the grass—they know.
They get along—and we’ll get along.

Some days will be rainy and you will sit waiting
And the letter you wait for won’t come,
And I will sit watching the sky tear off gray and gray
And the letter I wait for won’t come.

There will be ac-ci-dents.
I know ac-ci-dents are coming.
Smash-ups, signals wrong, washouts, trestles rotten,
Red and yellow ac-ci-dents.
But somehow and somewhere the end of the run
The train gets put together again
And the caboose and the green tail lights
Fade down the right of way like a new white hope.

I never heard a mockingbird in Kentucky
Spilling its heart in the morning.

I never saw the snow on Chimborazo.
It’s a high white Mexican hat, I hear.

I never had supper with Abe Lincoln.
Nor a dish of soup with Jim Hill.

But I’ve been around.
I know some of the boys here who can go a little.
I know girls good for a burst of speed any time.

I heard Williams and Walker
Before Walker died in the bughouse.

I knew a mandolin player
Working in a barber shop in an Indiana town,
And he thought he had a million dollars.

I knew a hotel girl in Des Moines.
She had eyes; I saw her and said to myself
The sun rises and the sun sets in her eyes.
I was her steady and her heart went pit-a-pat.
We took away the money for a prize waltz at a
          Brotherhood dance.
She had eyes; she was safe as the bridge over the
          Mississippi at Burlington; I married her.

Last summer we took the cushions going west.
Pike’s Peak is a big old stone, believe me.
It’s fastened down; something you can count on.

It’s going to come out all right—do you know?
The sun, the birds, the grass—they know.
They get along—and we’ll get along.

--Carl Sandburg 

drinking it in

My Farm boss FlavaFlav and I have often found ourselves talking about "examining the Farm with fresh eyes,"--this is usually a conversation that happens around holidays or board meeting weekends, when tons of non-Farmers are around. The sentiment was repeated again this week as we have begun to cook our big Thanksgiving meal, as we begin to look around us again and look for the flaws, seeking out that fresh perspective.

And this is what leaving is for me, this half-existence of looking at things with a fresh perspective, not of a stranger, but rather, as a person soon to be estranged. To vacate the house and pack everything up means finding the holes in the wall where the pictures hung; seeing the uneven-ness of the paint job in certain corners; noticing how dingy things look when the room is alight with afternoon sunshine. But more importantly, it also means noticing the sharp contrast of the night sky and it's milky stars; being amazed by a cliched-ly perfect Indian summer day; allowing yourself to be mesmerized by the smell of wood stoves and furnaces.

The past few days have meant lots of meandering, sitting still, trying to drink in all this beauty and somehow burn it into my memory, make it accessible for later when I am tired of city life.

I am excited for my new adventure, but sad to leave the beauty of the Farm behind me...guess I will have to find my little slice of beauty somewhere in OhCity, OH.

fighting words

rumor has it

Rumor Has It - Adele

how bittersweet this tastes

Adele - Someone Like You

Since I shared the Glee mash-up, I MUST share these AMAZING originals!

love this

Rumour Has It / Someone Like You (Glee Cast Version)

Sometimes Glee hits the nail on the head. This was one of those times. I love this mash-up of Adele's songs "Rumor has it" and "Someone like you. Gah! This is great.

feeling Kook-y

The Kooks 'Seaside'

One of our German volunteers was just talking about how much they like the Kooks; having never listened to them I am giving them a whirl. This was great.

P.S. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Youtube?

take me along

River (Take Me Along) - Bill Staines

Remember the other day when I wrote about things that I will miss? Well, here is another song that will always remind me of the Farm; the memory of swaying to this song as the chorus rose us around us; of smiling with satisfaction at this community that I think of as home. This was my first morning meeting song and the one I requested as my last morning meeting song when I left the Farm some years back (before I returned again).

*Sigh*

the lovliness of libraries

I want to go on a global plane-trip (like a roadtrip?) to see all of these places!

AMAZING LIBRARIES

more to do

The Beatles - I'm So Tired

As the song title would suggest, I am so tired.

This past week and a half has been slightly overwhelming and busy and...constant motion. All this going, going and going has left me feeling tired and made me think of this old Beatles gem from the White Album.

This has been the past week and a half in a nutshell:

• Last Wednesday: midnight train to South Carolina, 16 hours of travel
• Last Thursday: 8 hour drive to Ohio to get apartment--mission accomplished 
• Last Friday: 8 hour drive back to South Carolina
• Weekend with sister A1, brother-in-law Mikey, niece S (7 yrs), nephew A (5.5 years) and Mom in South Carolina
• Monday: picked up Mummy Dearest and headed to North Carolina
• Tuesday: back to South Carolina, packed
• Wednesday: 1am train ride (16 hours) to Connecticut, then on to Massachusetts
• Thursday (yesterday): Rugbygirl and I drove to Ohio, dropped off my furniture, 8.5 hours of travel with strange mix of weather in PA: sleet, snow, hail and LIGHTNING!
• This morning: RugbyGirl and I got back in the car at 7am and headed back to the Farm, 7.5 hours of travel
• Plan of attack for tomorrow: finish packing up my cabin, hope to load everything in my car for the final move on Friday

Now you see why I'm beat. Will post more soon--maybe between packing up my little cabin in the woods, trying to spend time with people, and saying my goodbyes to my Farm life.

.P.S. Welcome new follower Montag! Montag, I appreciated your nod to Jorge Louis Borges.

all along the way

One of many cool tunnels through the mountains of West Virginia.

Capitol building, West Virginia

My apartment building.

My Mom in my new Kitchen!

Yay Virginia!

whirlwind o' travel

Wednesday morning I caught a midnight train (no, not to Georgia!) to Penn Station, NYC, then boarded my next train from NYC to Charlotte, NC (the closest major train stop to my sister and her family who live just over the line in South Carolina). You can see from my route that I spent a lot of time on trains all day; going from Connecticut, to New York City, and on through Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina. Fortunately I had a 4 hour stop in Washington D.C., which gave me enough time to walk past the Capitol and to the National Mall (although I didn't make it all the way down to the new Martin Luther King Jr. Monument, I did get to walk past the Library of Congress though!)

Thursday morning, after not enough sleep, my Mom and I roadtriped 8 hours to OhCity, OH, home of my new library job. After looking at one apartment we headed down the street and found an apartment with soul (this was one of M's requirements for me). My apartment is a two bedroom on the second floor of an apartment building built in 1929, about 2 blocks down the street from the library, not far from the local YMCA and the city's cultural center where a Farmer's Market is held YEAR ROUND! I was in love as soon as I saw the apartment! And living in the Midwest is super cheap: $545/month for a two bedroom! So happy! After I gave Mom the grand tour of my new work--OhCity Public Library--we ate at an amazing Italian place not far from my new apartment. GAH! Securing an apartment and spending a day in OhCity before my move made things feel a lot less stressful; can't wait to show it to RugbyGirl when she helps me move later this week!

Brother A3 and his now preggo wife Dayna met Mom and I for breakfast Thursday morning before we headed back down to South Carolina. They were also in OH for a few days to find their new digs for when they move down to OH in January. (A3 and Dayna are moving to a city about 45 minutes from me--this makes moving to a whole new state and strange city a LOT less scary!)

Now I am back in South Carolina with my family, celebrating monster niece S's 7th birthday. Pumpkin pies are cooking, S is antsy to open birthday presents and I am doing last minute things to get ready for my next leg of this trip. Tomorrow I pick Mummy Dearest up from the airport and head to her home in North Carolina! Looking forward to time with Mummy, Hubby and their two kiddos: Big and Little Fish!

Pics of my trip to follow!

the music I will miss

Bill Staines - Sweet Wyoming Home

Monday-Friday we have a morning meeting before we head off (back) to work; we cover that day's meetings, appointments, driving and events among other things. We always end with a reading and a song. This is one of my favorites and one which we sang last week.

Sitting in my sister's noisy house I am missing the silence of sunrise outside my little cabin windows; thinking about all the things I am going to miss after I move to Ohio--songs like this are one of many things.

let the time for parting be sweet

The Gardener LXI: "Peace, My Heart"

Peace, my heart, let the time for
the parting be sweet.
Let it not be a death but completeness.
Let love melt into memory and pain
into songs.
Let the flight through the sky end
in the folding of the wings over the
nest.
Let the last touch of your hands be
gentle like the flower of the night.
Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a
moment, and say your last words in
silence.
I bow to you and hold up my lamp
to light you on your way.

(Rabindranath Tagore)

Well, looks like I will be changing my blogs' name back to: Misadventures of the Monster Librarian. 

Two and a half weeks ago I slipped away--a quick weekend back to the Midwest; a weekend of spending time with my best friends in Michigan, but also time spent visiting a library in Ohio and interviewing for a Children's Librarian position. And can you believe it?? I got the job...and so I begin to say goodbye to the Farm; begin to watch sunsets and sunrises over mountains more carefully--we don't have mountains like these in the Midwest; begin to walk familiar roads and trails, to say goodbye to the signs of familiarity: the apple trees and birch, a winding river and a bedded pond, a swimming hole in the woods; begin to pack my life into boxes and crates, to think of logistical things: apartments and rent, and what does a month of groceries cost these days?

I am excited for the cliche, "beginning a new chapter," part of this next adventure, but I am definitely very sad about leaving the Farm. I have grown up here, not from childhood, but rather from that equally important twenty-something-into-a-thirty-something stage of adulthood; the time when you clarify yourself like butter, deepen your beliefs, start to feel comfortable with who you are, start to build a home for yourself.

Tonight I milked the cows for the last time. I said goodbye to each one: Josephine, Joanne, Tara, Curly, Beasley, Brie, Sylvia, Emily, Stella and Bathsheba, and then admired the newest two calves, one from Tara, one from Brie. I  looked affectionately at the dairy barn: the cat lazing on the scale, the now empty stalls, the pens of calves.

I walked up the hill to watch the sunset over the gravel pit. I watched as the sky pressed down upon itself, indigo blues pushing down onto pale powdery blues which lay heavy on the layers of tangerine and crimson which sighed just above the tree tops. It was an amazing sunset. I lay and watched the deepening of the night, feeling an ownership for the hundreds of acres here, which belong to me as much as I belong to this community. One day of goodbyes down in a sea of them. *Sigh*

P.S. Also, wanted to welcome one of my old colleagues, Beth, who is now following along! Thanks Beth!

NPR, You guys ROCK!

I love NPR, here are links to some fun/interesting/awesome articles that are all about books/reading:

Articles about:
The history of A History of the World in 100 Objects by Neil MacGregor

Catherine the Great Reader

World's largest art museum via book

"Life" Magazine at 75

For you sports' writing fans

New this week in paperback


And one from Harper Collins Publishing, for those of you who loved Gregory Maguire's books about Oz, here.

for the love of God!

good news for Michigan farmers

Photo found here

About a month back, Senator Carl Levin of Michigan announced that $470,000 (from the Farmers Market Promotion Program) would be set aside for Michigan farmers markets, affecting 9 farmers markets across the state. Good news! Full article here.

"I've already had like four babies"

Super tired lately--something has taken residence in my attic/crawl space, and whatever the hell it is, it loves to RUN down the inside of the walls behind my headboard while I am trying to fall asleep. It used to scare the crap out of me...now I just get angry. I swear to God it's like it knows right when I am literally almost asleep--does that sound paranoid? I think this lack of sleep thing is making me paranoid--and then I am WIDE AWAKE all over again.

Our routine is now something like this:

Thing in wall: scramble scramble, *claws scratching wood sounds*
Me: *pounding on wall* "HEY! Knock it off!" *more pounding
Repeat this about a half dozen times before an angrier me gives up, throws blankets over my head and then passes out from lack of oxygen under my million blankets!

I used to think the thing(s) was mice...then I thought--too big, must be squirrels...after watching this commercial, I am SURE it's raccoons!


Allstate TV Ad: Raccoon Mayhem

library stuff #39

10 Most amazing databases in the world

6 Novels written in under a month

Library not-against-Occupy Bangor