schmoozing 101

I absolutely love the Sedaris family--any family that could produce gems like David and Amy Sedaris!--so I was glad to see that one of the local libraries had a copy of I Like You: hospitality under the influence, by Amy Sedaris. I of course snatched it up and have been enjoying Amy's wonderful party giving advice.

"Possible Guest Combinations to Avoid:

Astrologer and Astronomer

Fraternity Brother and anyone else

Psychologist and Psychiatrist

Movie star and a scene stealer

The newly divorced couple

Director and out-of-work actor

A girl, her boyfriend and his secret girlfriend

Serial killer and a drunken teenager"


We have had lots of parties/gatherings at our house lately and I am more than a little tired of the schmoozing; a realization that I came to the last couple of days. Maybe it's not so much the schmoozing, but rather all the other things that come with being the host: the straightening of the house, the making sure there are snacks, checking with everyone to make sure people are comfortable, the clean up. Really it is my own fault since I say, "I love having people over," and "yes, let's do that here," or "we should all hang out at my house." I do it to myself, plain and simple.

I guess I am wanting something else.

I love having friends over--back home there wasn't a weekend where all of us weren't gathered at someone's house enjoying ourselves--but it becomes work when the people coming over aren't your friends. There is an ease that comes with having friends about one's house: their ability to help themselves; the fact that they know where everything is; their general comfort at entertaining themselves by picking up magazines or books lying around and perusing without need of attention. The kind of friends who don't judge you because you have hokey movies on the shelf, or think you are uncosmpolitan for putting your wine (no matter the color) in the fridge, and who don't care if your house is a mess or you are a mess or your cat is angry.

I started this diatribe about being grumpus about schmoozing and yet it trails down that winding path that really just makes me realize I am homesick for my two MI best friends K and L, and hanging out, and our crowd; those late night Saturdays; those ridiculous conversations; just being together.

Tonight we had the new volunteers over as a welcome (though all 5 have been at the Farm for about a month or more now). The evening felt discombobulated. It also showed me the growing age gap between myself and the new volunteers--was I ever that age? I felt tired and not at all like entertaining and am now looking forward to tomorrow nights Poker game with friends as a reminder that I don't have to schmooze again for a while. *Sigh.*

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